What happens to a dog during breakup or divorce?
December 13, 2011 • At Home
A scenario played out in countless American homes each year goes a little something like this.
1: “Fine. I don’t care. I just want out. Take the car…take the TV…take the stereo. But the dog is mine.”
2: “Oh, you think so, huh? Well that’s not going to happen. He’s my dog and he stays with me!”
1: “Your dog? Really? Your dog? We’ll see about that. Expect a call from my lawyer!”
While the issues surrounding alimony, child custody and visitation rights are well documented there is one area surrounding these battles that goes woefully underreported.
In a divorce, separation or break-up…who gets the dog?
In a first-of-its-kind book exploring this common and often contentious occurrence, “What About Wally: Co-Parenting A Pet With Your Ex” offers insight in to both the legal and dog behavioral elements at play when pet parents split-up. Co-written by pet expert Steven May and prominent family law attorney David T. Pisarra, Esq., the book is fast-paced, often humorous and provides expert tips and tricks to help bring owners together to act in the best interests of their dog.
“The idea for the book came up over dinner one night,” said May in a recent conference call interview with the authors. “Both David and I co-parent pets with our ex’s and were discussing how frequently we both fielded questions about how to handle the dog during a split up.”
While the questions directed to May typically dealt with how to handle the dog behavioral and health issues that often arise when pet parents break-up, Pisarra was noticing an increase in couples battling over custody of the dog in court.
“I’ve seen all the tactics, ploys and bitterness from couples fighting over who gets the dog as what takes place in child custody cases,” he said. “When Steven and I started sharing stories we realized how common the issue was and thought that a book covering both the legal and dog behavior sides of the coin might help make a difference.”
And it is indeed common when considering that roughly half of the nearly two million marriages in the U.S. each year will end in divorce. Coupled with the countless separations and co-habitation break-ups, and the fact that the Humane Society states that 39% of American homes include a dog; what happens to “Wally” is an ever-increasing and often emotionally charged dilemma for many pet parents splitting up.
Most courts in the U.S. consider pets property which means what a partner brought to the relationship is what they leave with. But when couples get a dog while living together the courts will typically first look at licenses and records such as city registration, vaccination records and who has shown financial responsibility for vet visits when determining lawful ownership. But Pisarra says that mitigating circumstances can come in to play in much the same way they do in child custody battles.
“The goal of the courts in child custody cases is to try to act in the best interest of the child and the same holds true for dogs when both parties want ownership,” says Pisarra. “Some of the circumstances they will then consider are a history of drug use, extreme financial instability, jail time and domestic violence charges which may show a propensity to be violent towards a dog as well.”
Unfortunately, what often happens in bitter ownership battles is that the dog will become nothing more than a tool for one spouse to hurt the other. And just as it is with a child, dogs will offer suffer emotionally and behavioral issues often develop.
“As most any pet owners will attest to; dogs can be very sensitive,” says May the founder of The Daily Growl and former publisher of VETZ Magazine. And when a break-up occurs, especially one that is less than amicable, dogs may develop stress that can manifest itself in a variety of ways, from excessive barking, loss of appetite, illness and even aggression.”
So what is the best way for pet parents to handle a break-up? According to May and Pisarra, striving to co-parent a pet is best for all concerned. Not only does the dog benefit from having each of its parents in its life it can also help couples approach their post-relationship journey in a more caring and harmonious way via their shared love of their dog.
“As one who co-parents a dog with my ex I can say that it has definitely brought us closer and helped heal old wounds,” said Pisarra. “By having a shared interest and responsibility we’ve created a common ground that not only we benefit from but our “Dudley” does as well.”
May also co-parents a pet with his ex and is hopeful “What About Wally” will convince others to do the same. “Dogs like consistency and by taking the steps to effectively co-parent there is no reason that the bonding felt as a family living together can’t be maintained when the living situation changes.”
So if you find yourself taking the steps to end a relationship and are divvying up the “stuff,” remember that some things are more important than the TV. And when you ask each other “What About Wally?,” don’t forget that Wally loves you both and it’s your responsibility to act in a way that is truly in his, and your, best interest.
For additional information on “What About Wally: Co-Parenting A Pet With Your Ex” please visit www.Petloverzguides.com
Join the FIDO Friendly magazine pack and never a single issue of the one magazine your dog will thank you for.
